I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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