The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
