If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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