didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize