1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize