he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
