told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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