GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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