ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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