That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
