You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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