tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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