you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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