Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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