Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
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I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's rum buckets o'clock
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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