You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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