After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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