You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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