i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
