I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
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