he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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