How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
