You just made me feel so damn special
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
