His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
