I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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