so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
