i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
