i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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