youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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