She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
