So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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