hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
