remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
How does one acquire holy water?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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