We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize