The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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