everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
