I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
