The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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