I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
