All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
