she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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