If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
