We should be called the Road Head Warriors
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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