Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just want to make out with him forever
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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