i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
