Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
