He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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