There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
