it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
