I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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