You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
