Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
