Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize