awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
porn star boner night. come get it.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here