this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings