its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
accomplished twins. life is a go
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.