After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to