Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?