i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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