When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize