at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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