Me too!
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
