He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
