I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
